I realize that I am not always the most positive person. I can succumb to depression and frustration just like anyone else. Sometimes I fear I am too cynical and jaded. But on the flipside, there are all too many occasions when I hope for the best, feel optimistic and positive and just set myself up for disappointment. Dammit. Then I feel foolish for putting myself on that position. Hoping for the best in people and in life can seem really silly when you feel so beaten down by things.

I recently had an old acquaintance really get under my skin...wanting to chat for hours on end. Very persistent in wanting to meet up. It had been years since I last saw him. Obviously much has changed.

It's no secret that while I am generally a confident person, I have insecurities about my weight. Childbearing wrecked me! And whenever I'd voice my insecurities, I'd get responses about how we've all gained weight and how I have an excuse because I'm a mom.

Well, I guess it's all good in theory, because when we met up, I was met with tons of excuses about hangovers and the list (of like two things that just got repeated over and over) that he needed to do. When I left, he couldn't even pry the cell phone from his ear long enough to give a proper "good-bye".

Upon my return home I sent an email to clear the air and say it's cool, my weight is an issue...I get it. But NO reply. No nothing...just "defriended" on Facebook.

It's been a long time since I've been treated with such little care and such disrespect. The one thought I keep in my head is that I can always lose weight, but he'll be a lonely, superficial prick forever. (Who is a tad on the doughy side these days and could benefit from some tooth whitening strips, a toothbrush or a trip to the dentist...they look like corn, honey.)

Unfortunately, this incident has left me feeling bad. I'm leaning towards thinking that socializing online is not the best idea, but heaven knows I'm not going to get out and socialize where I live now. I had decided not to let this hurt my feelings, but it's kinda like when a little splinter, you didn't even know you had, gets infected.