A few entries ago, I wrote a blog about how Tate was having such problems in school and how we were going to have her tested for a variety of things to see what we can do to help out and make life easier for her.

I've not really mentioned much about it since then because it has been a lot of hurry up and wait. Tate was evaluated and the final conclusion is that she has ADHD with lots of anxiety and some depression. While the news was absolutely heartbreaking, it was not a surprise.

After the diagnosis, we had to wait for almost a month to get the formal report. This report has all of the details lined out for us and recommendations about what we can do at home and what the staff at her school can do for her. The report is very interesting. The results are all over the place. She scored averages on a few things, below average on a couple of tests and superior on a few. And what struck me as odd is that the scores were opposite of what her strengths and weaknesses are in school.

The psychologist explained that some of the lower test scores may not have been accurate because either Tate got distracted, couldn't remember the instructions or just didn't understand or care that she had time limitations on them. At one point, the Dr. had to turn Tate's back to a window because she became so engrossed in what some squirrels were up to.

There is no debate that Tate is extremely bright. Her pediatrician used the best analogy: Tate's mind is like a souped-up, race car engine...but it won't stay in gear. Her psychiatrist said that in all her years, she has never come across anyone like Tate. What is going to be difficult for me is that Tate does best with auditory learning. I learn things visually. So this is a learning process for me. I have to re-learn how to do things in a different way so I can help her figure things out and remember them.

The psychiatrist's recommendations for life at home are all things we are already doing, that made me feel very good. Her recommendations for school are quite lengthy. To be honest, I am skeptical that the proper modifications will take place. But I'll go into a little more depth about that in a bit.

Finally, the psychiatrist recommended medicating Tate. Obviously, this is something that is not to be taken lightly. Dominic comes from a family that has always preferred alternative medicines. And there are some homeopathic options that have been proven to help some with the symptoms of ADHD. I, on the other hand, come from a family where if something was wrong and there was a pill for it...you took the pill. But when it comes to Tate, I don't relish the idea of her having to take meds, but the hope that her life could be easier, with less worry and stress really makes me open to the idea. She has been a worrier since birth and I would really love the opportunity to see her be a fun, carefree girl. That thought brings tears to my eyes.

The next step was to meet up with Tate's pediatrician to discuss our options. He is a really fabulous doctor and he is very cautious which is why we value his opinion and trust him. He started out by explaining that while there have been studies that show some correlation of diet to ADHD, there simply is not enough consistent information to support it. He did mention a couple of herbal supplements that have shown some evidence of improvement. After that he explained the different types of prescribed medicines that are available.

**Before I go into this, bear in mind, I am NOT a doctor. Please to not jump all over me if there are any inaccuracies.**

First he talked about Prozac and Effexor. He mentioned a drug called Vyvanse. Then he mentioned Strattera, which sounded particularly promising because not only could it help out with the ADHD symptoms, it may also help out with the anxiety and depression. And it's not a stimulant like Ritalin or Adderall, which were the last drugs he discussed. They have a higher success rate than Strattera, with visible results seen in the first 5-14 hours of use, but as I said before they are stimulants and they only work for as long as they are in the system. Tate already has wild mood swings, I cannot imagine what being on a drug with such highs and lows would do to her.

Although it's a cumulative drug and will take longer to see any changes, we decided to go with Strattera. I think that Dominic and I both feel that a life with less worry, anxiety and stress for Tate is something we never thought we would see. We are trying not to get our hopes up. And even more importantly, while it seemed like the most attractive option to us, it is what her doctor recommended too.

He said that it's an issue of which came first? The chicken or the egg? The anxiety or ADHD? Well, I can answer that. The anxiety was first...from a very young age. The ADHD symptoms have arisen only in the past two years or so. I can't help but think that if we can get that under control, maybe the other things will fall into place a little easier.

I know that medicating a child is frowned upon by many. Please do not judge our decision. All we want is a better life for our daughter.

Of course, Murphy's Law had to kick in at some point. Today we went to pick up the Strattera, but our insurance won't cover it. There is no generic for it and they want us to try one of the stimulant drugs first. I'm so glad that our insurance company, who has no idea about what is going on or what Tate's needs are, thinks they know better than our doctor. So, we had to call them up to find out what we needed to do to get it approved, then we had to call the pediatrician to see if he will call them and explain that he does not approve of stimulants for Tate. But he's been out of the office for a week and is playing catch up, so who knows when he will get around to calling them? And of course, if the insurance company wants to be stubborn, they can still refuse to cover it. Without insurance, it's $180 for a month.

More waiting...

This morning, we met with Tate's teacher, principal and speech therapist. (Tate has a lisp and has been approved for assistance with that.) What is most disconcerting is that Tate's teacher kept pushing for us to medicate her. (Saying things like, "When we decide what the RIGHT thing to do is, she thinks there will be drastic improvements"...etc.) The long story short is that I think she feels that if Tate is medicated, she can rest easy and not work on making some of the suggested modifications to facilitate Tate's learning. We ultimately ended up telling them that we are exploring alternative options. If we can ever actually get the Strattera and start administering it, it will be a great way to gauge how it's working when we hear feedback from the teacher. The changes won't be fast like if Tate were on Ritalin. And that way, with any luck, the teacher WILL make the necessary modifications to help Tate. We all have to work on this, at home and school, there is no magic pill to cure ADHD and make life rosy...there is no cure.

Last but not least, I am struggling trying to help Tate with her spelling. The school uses the Letterland program, which is about 40 years old and originated in England. Apparently it is quite successful with the kindergartners and first graders, but this school is a pilot school for using it in the second grade and they are not pleased with it. They have found that it is more distracting for the older children, wasting a lot of time and not really adding much to the learning process as a whole. Well, that's great but that doesn't do anything to help me help Tate. And there are no resources available online or anything because essentially there is no second grade Letterland program for the masses since it is only being tested out in a few schools. Even if resources were available, the resources for the kindergarten and first grade levels are available to BUY...which I think is a total rip-off. So in the meantime, the teacher has agreed to send me the little grammar stories they use to help try to remember things.

Anyway, I suppose that is it for now. We are doing the best we can at the moment and hoping things will get better.