Well, it's been about 18 months since my daughter, Tate, was diagnosed with ADHD. We've had her on the drug Strattera, which is not a stimulant, and it seemed to work well for a while. Over the past couple of months, we've noticed some changes. Tate's still struggling with reading directions and finishing assignments in school. The big thing looming overhead these days is the end of grade testing. Her teacher is really worried she will be able to successfully endure a 3-hour standardized test. And if she doesn't pass the test, she doesn't go to 4th grade. She's incredibly defiant about everything at home, which results in her feeling like we are coming down on her all the time. It feels awful knowing she is unhappy and not knowing what to do about it.

She is still insanely picky when it comes to food and clothing. She has tried a couple of new foods over the past week, so that has been inspiring. But the clothes situation just seems to get worse and worse. It doesn't help that Spring has sprung and she really could use some new clothes. Tate got new shoes last week and it was one of the most excruciating experiences. She tried on EVERYTHING Payless and Target had to offer, but ended up settling on moccasins she didn't like the look of, but she did like the feel of.

So, today her Dr. told us that he thinks we should try to find her an occupational therapist to work with the "sensory integration dysfunction." This would include the sensitivity to tactile things, textures of food, etc. This is good news because we were thinking she still needed a therapist, even though we were uncertain what good a therapist would be when it came to the issues that could make everyday life easier. At least now I have a direction to go in!

We also decided on a patch called Daytana for Tate. It is a stimulant, but unlike Ritalin, there are no extreme highs, then lows once the meds wear off. She puts it on the AM and we take it off before dinner. Odds are, she won't even need them on weekends. This seems more favorable since she would fight taking the Strattera. Of course, we are going to monitor everything and make sure she is doing well. If any problems arise, we will contact her Dr. This wasn't an easy decision, but we are really desperate for "normalcy."

So, how am I, you ask?

I'm still suffering from depression. I still haven't totally unpacked from moving home. It's difficult that my husband works crazy hours and I have to do a lot of the parenting by myself. I have a hard time sleeping. And then I find myself crashing out on the sofa until lunchtime. I feel guilty and horrible about that.

I'm back on the dieting thing. I'm using a cool website called MyFitnessPal.com. They have a app for the iPhone and it's really easy to track your exercise and caloric intake. I'm doing alright on the calories. But I know I could exercise more. I am just stifled by this depression and have the hardest time getting motivated. Then today I discovered I have gained weight and that was just like a punch to the gut. I know muscle weighs more and I have gone to the gym some, but it's still a letdown and I feel like I could do more. I just HAVE to make myself. I'm not sure how I will do it, but I will. My parents and Dom have all commented on how my face and mid-section have changed and that helps some. I think I'd be more motivated if I saw more changes.

I'm a work in progress...what can I say?